Latest Assault on Guinness Record Successful

LONDON – AP – The world record for Exclamatory-Remarks-Over-A-Four-Day-Period was shattered last week at Acadia National Park in Maine by a 51-year old man. What started out on the ride north up Route 1 from Brunswick as simple, but repeated comments like “look at that, isn’t that pretty,” soon gave way to incessant hyperbole once the pink granite hills of Mount Desert Island came into view.

The man, Ted Bahr, of Laurel Hollow, NY, apparently did not intend to set a record when he booked a four day trip to America’s 10th-most-visited National Park, accompanied by his 12-year-old son, Peter. But by the second day, it became clear that something was stirring in the air. With the encouragement of his enthusiastic son, the two visitors made the most of their trip, spending mornings traipsing up the coastal mountains to reveal “incredible,” views, also termed “unbelievable,” as each new treeline was crossed and more “amazing,” views came into sight.

Afternoons were spent climbing and scrambling across the coastal cliffs, over giant boulders, up rock walls and engaging in the local sport known as Acadian Parkour. By the third day, record keepers were having trouble keeping up with the stream of declarative adjectives flying out of Mr. Bahr’s mouth. The final tally, aided by an exceptionally crisp and sunny last day of the trip was 378 “fantastic’s,” 490 “incredible’s”, 503 “amazing’s,” 728, “unbelievable’s,” and a staggering 1,381 uses of the word “awesome,” for a grand total of 3,480 utterances, or, 870 per day.

The previous record for a four-day period was held by Buckwheat Stewart of Hound Corner, Alabama, who set the mark of 3,263 before, during, and right after the 2007 Daytona 500, at Daytona International Speedway in central Florida.