Overly Cheery Woman Hospitalized in Snowball Incident

NEW YORK -- AP - Apparently the goodwill surrounding the month of December has worn off in this unusually snowy January. Agnes Fernbach, 62, found this out the hard way and suffered a mild concussion under a barrage of snowballs.

What started out as a rather harmless response to Ms. Fernbach’s bright outlook on the weather soon turned nasty. The baling and binding department of the Blatch Corrugated Packaging Company of East 163rd Street in the Bronx went out for it’s weekly team lunch at the Papadopolis Diner this Thursday. The team of 8 co-workers had been working together at Blatch for upwards of 30 years and the contempt bred by familiarity finally went over the top.

The New York Metropolitan area had suffered it’s seventh significant storm which left a record amount of snow on the streets. While navigating the slush and piles of snow the group began cursing winter heartily, “enough snow, ENOUGH, already…”
Fernbach, whose exceptionally cheery disposition was normally tolerated by the cynical, bitter group of crusty New Yorkers, made the mistake of retorting that she liked the snow. She was exclaiming this and looking toward the heavens saying, c’mon winter, bring it on,” when the first snowball hit her in the mouth.

The group soon piled on, sending a hailstorm of packed snow and ice toward the hapless optimist until, finally, baling foreman Bruno Roccotelli pushed her into a snowbank. The group, laughing, then trundled off to the diner, not realized that Ms Fernbach was still dazed and in need of help. Fortunately a good Samaritan saw the incident and was able to transport the injured idealist to a nearby hospital. The baling and binding group was horrified when they heard the news and offered Tylenol and flowers to Ms. Fernback while still finding a way to blame the entire incident on the “goddamned snow.”