Man, 50, Forgets Sunglasses, Detained at LAX

LOS ANGELES, CA, OCTOBER 26, 2009

In a case of remarkably poor judgment, a 50-year old man was detained while attempting to disembark in Los Angeles without bringing sunglasses or eyeshades of any kind.

The white male, identified as Ted Bahr from Laurel Hollow, NY, was detained by US Homeland Security forces at the Los Angeles International Airport, where the security alert was raised from Yellow to Orange for the rest of the afternoon.

“Look, I’m sorry. That’s what I get for leaving New York early in the morning – it was completely dark outside at the time,” said the man, who pleaded to be allowed through security to shop at one of the four sunglasses shops visible further down the terminal.

“Clearly this individual was either incredibly naïve, or, more likely, planning some sort of terrorist action which would involve operating only at night. I mean, nobody flies into LA without sunglasses,” explained Airport Security Chief Jon Richardson.

Bahr maintained his innocence as he was led away to a strip search, “Look I just forgot, I can’ t possibly be the first one.”

Other passengers on the short hop from Las Vegas were as surprised as airport security, “How completely uncool,” scoffed actor and avid poker player Willie Garson, “he’d never survive in this town. Being taken into custody is probably for the guy’s own good.”